Here's a 21st century dilemma that your grandmother probably didn't have to deal with: What do you do with your baby during your wedding? While many mothers are getting remarried, other mothers are (hold onto your potatoes, Dan Quayle) getting married for the first time, usually to the father of their babies. This creates an unusual predicament… do you invite your own baby to your wedding, or leave him at home with a sitter? Of course, there is no easy answer, but there are some solutions. The following guidelines are here to make baby duty on your wedding day a breeze:
Should Your Baby Be In Your Wedding?
Your six-month-old would look precious in a frilly dress; how can you resist making her your maid of honor? Here is a list of pros and cons to consider before you purchase that miniature Jessica McClintock.
Cons
- Babies are unpredictable. No matter how long she's napped, no matter that she's always an angel at 11:00 a.m., you simply cannot bank on anything. If infants are unpredictable, toddlers are miniature landmines waiting to explode, so think twice before you transform your two-year-old into a flower girl. For more about kids in weddings, check out Kid Control.
- If you're babies nearby, chances are you won't be paying close attention to anythign but them. You put a lot of time into planning the perfect wedding day. Consider the distraction factor.
- Babies spit up. Oh sure, some don't. However, most of the ones I've known do. Even if you don't mind a little curdled milk on your dress, your bridesmaids might.
- If you can't hold your baby when she wants you, she may get upset. If she's got good lungs, she might even be able to drown out your string quartet.
Pros
- Your baby will be part of the second most important moment of your life (the first being giving birth to her!). Many moms wouldn't trade that for the most perfect wedding in the world.
- Your baby will be in your wedding photos. If she's there, she'll be the subject of many photo ops. Mommy holding baby. Baby cutting wedding cake. Baby climbing on rose topiary.
- No matter what babies do, most people think they're adorable.
Hire A Caregiver
Whether your baby is going to be at your wedding or at home, you should hire a caregiver. No matter how much you love your child, you will be far too busy to take care of her on your wedding day. You may be thinking that mom or grandma can take care of the baby, right? If you have family members who will share baby duty on your wedding day, this could work. However, consider the fact that your family wants to celebrate, too. After all, which would you rather do: change dirty diapers or dance?
Photographs
If your baby and caregiver are off-site, consider having them swing by for formal photos before the ceremony. Ask the photographer to get the shots that include the little one before snapping all those close-ups of you and your hands. That way, baby's photo session will be short and sweet.
If your baby is on-site, it will be easy to summon your little angel for a photo or two. Just don't expect him to say cheese when you want him to. If all else fails, you and your new hubby can always dress up in your wedding finery a few days after the wedding and have pictures taken with your baby. Years from now, no one will know the difference.
If you are planning to have your baby at your wedding, make sure there is a quiet place to take her if things get too stimulating. And lastly, if you truly long for an elegant wedding without the distraction of your child, you are not a bad mother. There will be many occasions to celebrate with your baby. In fact, don't blink -- it may not be long before you're dancing at her wedding
See More: Etiquette , Kids , Bridal Party