If I don’t want my bridesmaids to match, what are some alternatives?

Your bridesmaids’ dresses certainly don’t have to be exact matches. Many brides will offer their bridesmaids a range of styles to choose from -- dresses in the same fabric and color (or a range of colors) but with different cuts, or even different patterns. If you want to give your attendants even more freedom with their dresses, you could provide them with guidelines regarding dress fabric, length, color, and level of formality and let them select their own bridesmaids’ dresses. The maid or matron of honor’s dresses and flowers can also be a different color, fabric, and style than the other bridesmaids’.

Bridemaids’ shoes are generally the same type – most brides opt to put their attendants in pumps or sandals – and color, but they don’t have to be the exact same shoe.

Some brides choose their attendants’ hairstyles and hair accessories. Jewelry can tie your bridesmaids’ outfits and hairstyles together if they aren’t wearing the same exact dresses and hairstyles. You can provide key pieces of jewelry to them as your bridesmaids’ gifts, or discuss it carefully with them to ensure that the pieces they choose aren’t too busy, loud, or off-color.

Peggy Post, our Etiquette Expert and internationally known spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, answers your questions and provides helpful etiquette advice on everything from attire and invitations, to toasting and receptions.