You've already made the biggest decision: You're going to propose. Now you need to find THE ring. There are many ways to go about it, and some universal advice that should be heeded either way. Whichever your approach, we'll put you on track to presenting the perfect ring.
Know What She Likes
Of course it matters what you think; the ring is a symbol of your love, after all. But keep in mind that she'll wear this ring every day for the rest of her life. When making your choice, you don't have to wing it. There are lots of approaches you can take to finding out what she likes, with or without her help.
The "This-Is-A-Total-Surprise" Approach
You haven't even hinted that you're thinking about proposing -- you want her to be happily surprised. Get an idea of what she'll love by taking notice of the rings she already owns. Are they heavy on detail or delicate? Does she favor silver or gold? If she has a friend/sister/mother you're sure can keep a secret, ask her if she knows what your girl wants. You should also be alert for hints your beloved may drop. Leaving a magazine open to a particular ring is a major clue. So is saying, "I LOVE so-and-so's princess-cut solitaire set in white gold" every day.
The "I'm-Not-Gonna-Risk-Messing-This-Up" Approach
If it's no secret that you're going to marry some day, you can always ask her outright what she wants. Look online together at styles, go to a jeweler and try rings on, or have her tear pages out of magazines. Still want an element of surprise? Have her choose a few styles she likes, then you make the final choice. And just because she knows that you know the ring she wants, doesn't mean the proposal itself can't be a surprise.
The "What-About-My-Great-Grandmother's-Ring?" Approach
You have a family heirloom, so it's all decided, right? Maybe. Don't let an heirloom make you feel trapped, like you have no choices. You can present her with the ring at the proposal as a "placeholder," saying it's to wear until you find the perfect ring together. You can also replace the stone with another, have the original stone reset, or melt down the metal and have the setting redesigned into a style she loves.
Do Your Homework Before You Buy
You wouldn't walk blindly into a dealership and buy the first car you found. A diamond ring is a major investment, so there's a lot to consider before you buy.
The Four Cs
This is a term that you should be very familiar with before you put down a dime. It stands for Cut, Color, Clarity, and Carat weight - the traits that determine the quality of a diamond. A diamond's Cut affects how much light is reflected from the stone; the higher the rating, the more brilliant (and costly) the diamond. The ratings descend from Ideal cut (the highest possible rating) to Very Good cut, Good cut, Fair cut, and Poor cut. Most gemologists consider cut the most important diamond characteristic because even if a diamond has perfect color and clarity, a diamond with a poor cut will appear dull.
Color is actually a measure of how little color the stone has, and the less color the better. The rating system works on a range from D (absolutely colorless) to J (color slightly detectable to the naked eye). Anything lower than that will have visible color and should be avoided.
Clarity determines how many flaws (a.k.a. inclusions) a diamond has, and how visible they are to the eye. A stone's rating descends from F (flawless inside and out, extremely rare) to IF (internally flawless), VVS1 and VVS2 (very small inclusions), VS1 and VS2 (very small inclusions, typically invisible to the eye), SI1 and SI2 (slightly included) and I1, 2, and 3 (included).
Carat weight tells you the size of the stone, with the price rising with the weight. Note that since larger diamonds are more rare, two half-carat diamonds will cost less than a 1-carat diamond.
Certification
To ensure that you're getting a diamond that matches The Four Cs you're seeking, make sure it comes with a certificate from a respected, independent gemological laboratory. The certificate, also known as a diamond grading report, is a detailed document created by a team of gemologists based on their evaluation of your diamond. The two most respected diamond labs in the country include the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) or the American Gem Society Laboratories (AGSL). A diamond certificate from one of these two labs is your guarantee that you're getting what you pay for, and you shouldn't dream of buying a diamond without one.
Choosing A Metal
If your girlfriend favors jewelry with a silver hue, consider platinum for the engagement ring. Because it is extremely rare, platinum is the most expensive metal, but it’s also the most popular because of its strength and durability. If you like the look of platinum, but are on a budget, consider white gold. Its appearance is similar to platinum, but it is significantly less expensive. It’s important to keep in mind that white gold will probably need to be re-plated with rhodium to regain that bright white shine every few years. Of course, yellow gold is always a classic choice. Gold of either color is softer than platinum and should receive special care and attention. Regardless of the metal, daily wear and tear on rings can take a toll, so having its prongs checked as it wears over the years is a must.
Choosing a Setting
Once you've decided on a metal for your setting, take your time looking at setting styles. There are three main styles: solitaire settings, settings with sidestones, and settings with matching bands. Solitaires are currently the most popular setting, which is just a simple band with a center stone. The prongs position a center diamond to catch the most light. If you're just not sure, a solitaire is an excellent choice -- you can present it to her as-is and then chose a permanent setting together.
Sidestone settings have additional diamonds or gemstones set into the bands, for extra sparkle or color. Channel-set sidestone diamonds or gems are where the stones are flush with the metal of the band, keeping them safe from abrasions. The look is clean and modern. Pavé diamonds, which literally means paved with diamonds, are a gorgeous option too. As the name suggests, the diamonds are set into the band, evoking the vintage/antiquey feel that is so popular these days.
If you want her to have a wedding band to wear on the same finger as the engagement ring, you'll want to consider settings with wedding bands designed to match.
With the wonder that is the Internet, you can browse all of these styles online, and even purchase your ring too.
Buy Smart
With some planning and common sense, you can buy a ring that is beautiful and within your means. While you want to be sensible, this is not the time to bargain hunt. Your future wife will wear this ring every day for the rest of her life and possibly pass it down to future generations.
Quality Over Quantity
Buying the biggest rock you can find may seem the most logical way to go -- bigger is better, right? Not necessarily when it comes to diamonds. A two-carat diamond that is dull and badly cut is not nearly as stunning as a one-carat stone of excellent quality. Once you've decided how much you can spend, consider the highest quality diamond you can afford in the size range you know she'll love. If you know she'll be thrilled with a larger diamond, simply decide which of the remaining Cs you'd rather cut back on.
Choosing the symbol of your enduring love can seem challenging, but a little homework and a lot of romance go a long way. And remember, she's saying yes to you, not to the ring, so you really can't go wrong.
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