Men's formalwear expert Susan Schreiber has what many brides-to-be consider a very difficult job. She takes their men and makes them into respectable, even debonair grooms -- worthy of standing up in front of their family and friends, taking their places next to their brides and reciting their vows. Schreiber, who has worked in the men's formalwear industry for the past 20 years and owns Lexington Formalwear in midtown Manhattan near tony Madison Avenue, knows her tuxedos from the top of the bow tie to the tip of the thin-soled shoe. She guides men to the perfect look for their particular wedding and makes sure that every pleat and button is in place. Not only does she ensure that her grooms look well-groomed in their tuxedos, she is a virtual formalwear troubleshooter. She does everything possible to prevent a formalwear disaster, like the groom's pants falling down on his big day.
What is the first step for a groom choosing his attire? "Be serious about finding the wedding day look that's right for you. Don't come with your best man and your buddies; this is not 'Monday Night Football.' Come alone or come with your fiancée, give us an hour of your time and be prepared to try things on," says Schreiber.
How do you ensure that you pick a look that suits the groom? "We really try to make it look as though the men and women at a wedding were meant to be together. That it's not a costume party, but that some kind of plan was involved," she says. "We don't want a bride in an elaborate, traditional wedding gown, all the bridesmaids looking like Southern belles, and the guys come out looking like 'Miami Vice' or 'Saturday Night Fever.' "
Do you follow etiquette closely or do you let them chose what they like? "First I read him one of the quotes from an etiquette book which says that the groom and his groomsmen should dress identically and everyone knows he's the groom because he's standing next to the bride. And then I tell him that the men's attire is really determined by what the women wear and what time of day it is." She chuckles. "And then I tell them it's the 21st century and they can do whatever they want. But I won't let them do anything foolish." Yet Schreiber's favorite look for a groom is a traditional one. "I prefer a picture of the bride and groom that's almost timeless. In all honesty, it's really all about etiquette and good manners. I don't want to stifle self-expression, but when in doubt, look it up."
So the groomsmen and the groom don't have to match? Yet another common misconception that Schreiber aims to dispel: that the groom must match the groomsmen. Schreiber says that matching is not necessary, but complementing is a good idea. "We can put the groom in white tie and tails and we can put the groomsmen in a tuxedo with the same lapel and the same style vest and the same shape bowtie, but in black, and all of the silhouettes look exactly the same."
Is a tux just a tux? "A lot of grooms think, 'Oh, I'll just wear a tuxedo. If I get married at ten in the morning or three in the afternoon.' Well, waiters wear tuxedos when they're serving and if you're having a black tie wedding, your guests will be wearing tuxedos. If you see a bride in an elaborate gown, a tuxedo doesn't cut it. A tuxedo is considered semi-formal. A more formal look really calls for tails or a cutaway."
Should I copy a celebrity? "You see a lot of things in film that are incorrect. I have people calling me about things they see at the Oscars. What does that movie star know about etiquette? Honestly, I think men have it made in the shade, the rules are so simple."
What are some simple rules to keep in mind so you don't look slipshod? "Suspenders hold up your pants. No belts are worn with formalwear. If you see a man looking particularly sloppy in a tuxedo it's because he's not wearing suspenders. His pants are falling down and his shirt is popping up. It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cummerbund or a vest, you wear suspenders underneath. It has nothing to do with decoration. It's strictly functional.
Once and for all, which way does the cummerbund go? "The cummerbund was originally designed to hold a coin or a key or theater tickets. Inside those pleats were little pockets. So if you imagine that those pleats were open so you could put things in them, you'll know which way they go."
Do you ever get to see your grooms on their big day? "Sometimes I get invited and I go to the wedding and see them showered and all dressed up in white tie and tails or a tuxedo. It's wonderful. It's a total conversion."
Schreiber's Tried And True Tips
On Collars
"It depends on the individual. If you have a man with a very full face and a short neck, it's hard to put him in a winged collar shirt. He'll be uncomfortable. My advice is to try things on, see how you look and pick the thing that looks best and is most comfortable."
On Pants
"Formal trousers should never have cuffs. Tuxedo trousers have braiding on the outside and you couldn't make a cuff. And there should be little or no break in the trouser -- if that stripe got all bunched up it wouldn't hang straight. Think of a more military look; a very straight, clean-cut look."
On Shoes
"While patent leather has always been popular, the real rule is that the shoes can be made of any material, from velvet to suede, but the trick is plain. It has to have a plain toe, no decoration, and the sole itself has to be a thin sole. It should be a shoe that you would see Fred Astaire dancing in."
On Lapels
"Shawl lapels look better on bigger people. A peaked lapel or a notch lapel draws your eyes to a narrower waist and makes you look broader in the shoulder, and that's good for men with a slight build."
On Ties
"Hand-tied bows ties are a dying art. Don't start fussing around with one on the day of your wedding or you'll be a sweating, weeping man by the time you get to the ceremony." Unless you're a tie-knot whiz, look for a pre-tied bow tie.
On Renting
"If a groom plans to wear a tuxedo and has other events coming up, it pays to buy. But if a groom plans to wear tails, rent, you'll never use them again. When renting, don't choose something from a book. And when you go to pick up your garment, insist on trying everything on. Make sure that every clip and every fastener works. Getting to the wedding and finding that the bow tie clip is missing and having to hold it with a safety pin isn't going to help you. Don't forget to ask for suspenders and French-cuffed shirts. Some stores cheap out and don't give them to you."
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