What Should the Groom Mention if He Gives a Toast?
Giving a toast has been known to leave otherwise manly men quaking in their patent leather shoes. So, if your bride-to-be tells you that a toast will be in order at the wedding, don’t try to wing it. Planning ahead is key.
Juggling a microphone and talking in front of groups can be a daunting task. Add to it the adrenaline rush of your wedding day (and maybe a few glasses of champagne), and you could have a formula for disaster. So, take some time by yourself several days before your wedding, and jot down a few notes about what you want to say. When it’s time for your toast, take out that piece of paper and use it to help you make the best toast ever.
Most important? Keep it short and sweet. Start by thanking everybody for coming. (You can even mention the people who came farthest by name -- a nice little tribute to them for their effort.) Then, thank her parents and tell them how happy you are to be part of their family. You should also thank your parents for all that they’ve done for you. Finally, turn to your bride, look her right in the eye, and tell her how proud you are to be her husband, how happy you are on this very special day, and how much you love her. That’s it.
Your toast can come anytime after the best man's -- he traditionally leads off the toasts. Most likely, after the best man, the parents of the bride and groom will make toasts. Right after their toasts would be the best time for you to step up to the microphone.
You can also make your toast during the rehearsal dinner. Because the dinner focuses on the wedding party, this is a perfect time to direct your comments to the people who are coming together to help and celebrate your wedding. Traditionally, the host of the party (usually the father of the groom) makes the first toast. After that, the floor is open. You can start by thanking your parents for hosting the party. You can tell her family that you're looking forward to getting to know them all. Then, you can share a few short words about how you first met your bride-to-be, or a brief story about how you got engaged. Finally, this is the perfect opportunity to let everybody know how excited you are to be marrying such a wonderful person.
Peter Post is a director of the Emily Post Institute and author of The New York Times bestseller Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It and WHY and Essential Manners for Couples. One of Emily Post's four great-grandchildren, Peter holds a master's degree in fine art from Pratt Institute and a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Pennsylvania.
Want more etiquette advice for guys? Check out Peter Post's new book, Essential Manners for Men.