Q: “Jen, how can I get my groom more involved with the wedding? Joe seems like he’s been a huge help!”
A: Unlike women, most men don't grow up dreaming about their fairy-tale wedding. So when it comes to planning their own wedding, they have no clue what to do and, most likely, don't really care. That said, planning a wedding is stressful and time consuming, and you'd like some help from your groom. Here are few tips to get him involved:
Communicate Constructively
While it's easy to fly off the handle when you're frustrated, don't push him away by saying things like, "You never help me! You're such a jerk." Let him know you need his help, but do it nicely.
Get Him Involved
Ask him to come to appointments with you, like the cake and food tastings (men like food!). The more he feels like his opinions matter, the more interested he’ll be.
Have Other Interests
...or at least pretend to! Don't be so consumed with wedding planning that you can’t talk about anything else. Nothing will annoy him more than you discussing the wedding all the time. If he feels as if he's always being hounded, he'll be less likely to want to help.
Give him a task and then back off. Guys respond well to instructions. If you need him to do something, kindly give him clear tasks to do and when you need them done by. Don't ask him about it again until the "due date."
Turn to Others for Help
If you still can't get your guy excited about helping out, ask your bridesmaids or your mom to help. I'm sure they’ll jump at the chance to get involved, and this will relieve some of the pressure off of both of you. While I know this can be frustrating, I've seen the flip side and it ain't pretty -- a groom who wants to control everything from the flowers and the cake to the food and your hairstyle. Consider yourself lucky when your fiance doesn't swoop in and try to alter your idea of the perfect day.
Jen Schefft is the author of Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling
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-- Jen Schefft
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