I've received a great deal of advice from many people regarding the wedding. While most has been extremely helpful, there are a few bits of so-called wisdom I'm choosing not to heed. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event -- money shouldn’t be an issue."
Um, last I heard, we were in a pretty troubling recession. While I want my day to be extra-special and extremely beautiful, I know I need to stick to a budget. After all, it’s only one day of our lives! Once the day has passed, I'll be thankful we aren't in massive credit card debt.
"I see...banana."
Joe and I were recently at a wedding reception and seated with people we didn't know. One woman noticed we were engaged and began asking questions about the wedding day. She seemed pretty unimpressed by everything I was telling her, but was especially appalled when I told her my bridesmaid dresses were black. "Black dresses?" she hissed. "In the spring?" A few minutes later, she turned to me and said, "I see...banana!" As in banana-colored bridesmaid dresses. I know there are beautiful yellow bridesmaid dresses in colors called "honey yellow" and "sunshine." However, if I put my bridesmaids in anything called "banana," they wouldn't show up to the wedding. (Note to all you judgmental wedding critics out there: Please keep your opinions to yourself unless you’re asked. Trust me, the bride will love you for it.)
"Pay attention to every little detail so you don't embarrass yourself in front of your friends and family."
More often than not, people tell me not to stress about every last detail because I'll be the only one to notice. Therefore, I was shocked to read this doozy on an online wedding blog. I believe that most people truly don't pick up on minor details, including those you really do want them to notice (i.e., the perfectly tied ribbon around each program that coordinates perfectly with the ribbon on the invitations you sent a few month ago) as well as those you don't want them to notice (the chocolate-brown napkins you requested look more like mocha than dark chocolate). My advice: Don't get caught up in all the small stuff because it really won't matter.
"Let's put our guests at tables where they don't know anyone. This way, everyone can get to know each other."
>Joe came up with this little gem a few months back, and I almost had a panic attack. Putting the seating chart together is hard enough! Sitting my sweet Aunt Carol next to my wonderfully crazy friend Julie? Putting my cousins with Joe's work friends? Not going to happen. While it might be a great idea for a dinner party, it's really uncomfortable at a wedding. If you doubt what I'm saying, please refer to my second bit of ignored advice above.
In closing: Ladies, please, please, please remember that it’s your and your groom’s day, and yours only! Enjoy that moment and don’t let the outside voices interfere with all the great things you’re feeling inside. It’s an exciting ride, and if you let too much negativity in, you won’t enjoy it.
What’s the worst advice
you’ve gotten so far?
Tell me about it!
Jen Schefft is the author of Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling.
-- Jen Schefft
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