Even if you've given more than your share of wedding gifts, buying a present for a second-time marriage requires a little extra thought. Read on for some of the most serious gift-giving mistakes.
Ignoring the registry
Resist the temptation to surprise the couple with a unique or clever gift, and just stick to the wedding registry. While a vacuum cleaner or blender may not
feel like a thoughtful or heartfelt gift, remember: It's exactly what the couple needs. Now, if the bride and groom choose to forgo a registry -- many second-time couples do, since they already have the basic household items that are traditionally included -- you’re off the hook for this one.
Overspending and overstressing
While the traditional (and
very general) rule is $75 to $100 for a wedding present, don’t get too caught up in the cost. Gifts hold less importance at a second wedding, since the couple isn't setting up a home in the same way as a first-time pair might be. Likewise, try not to stress too much about
what you give -- in this situation, the old "it's the thought that counts" adage really does apply.
Getting too creative
If the couple
doesn't have a registry, you get to exercise a little more choice over your gift. This doesn't mean going out and grabbing whatever strikes your fancy, though. While the bride and groom may be moving in together for the first time, they've both been living independently for many years. Over this time, they've each presumably found a way of setting up house that works for them. Your job, then, is not to introduce them to some amazing style of silverware that you just
know they'll love, but to get them a new serving spoon or salad bowl that fits in perfectly with the kitchen gear they already have.
Bringing back ghosts
One caveat to the previous piece of advice: Stay away from long-loved items that hold close associations with either the bride or groom’s previous partner. If the groom and his first wife had a special tradition of going out dancing every Thursday night, salsa lessons may not be the best choice for the new couple. Likewise, a cup that matches the bride's favorite set of dishes is a great gift...unless those dishes happen to be an heirloom from her previous husband's family. While such things may not be entirely taboo within the new marriage, it isn't your place to bring them to the forefront...and definitely not through a wedding gift.