Q: I have this HUGE problem! My family likes my fiancé, but they hate his family. They feel that my fiancé's family should put more money toward our wedding, although they have none. This situation is causing so many problems that it's seriously disturbing my fiancé. I have tried to get my family to back off and calm down, but they refuse.

As a result, my fiancé has no interest in communicating with my family. I feel like I have to choose between my family and my fiancé. What should I do? My wedding is coming up soon.

A: Where is it written that the groom's family has to help defray the expenses of the wedding? Especially if this is financially impossible or uncomfortable? I have to say that it appears that your family is treating both your fiancé and his family with disrespect.

Sit down with your parents and explain the consequences of their actions -- thus far and in the future. If they want to "give" you a wedding, you are happy to accept it, with no strings. You must tell them that you (and they) are about to become a part of your fiancé's family, so peace is paramount. If your parents' aggravation is based on their inability to pay for the wedding you've planned, then scale back. If the tensions continue, consult a therapist or pastoral counselor. Whatever you do, you must clear up these disagreements before your wedding.

Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City.