Did you know there are unique traditions that govern military weddings? For each branch of the armed forces, specific time-honored customs and rituals accompany brides and grooms as they embark into marriage. Not all military members choose to have a military wedding, but holding such a service can be a wonderful way to demonstrate national loyalty and pride.
Who Has A Military Wedding?
Easy, military personnel, right? Well, a military wedding can only be held if the bride or groom is an active or retired member of one of the military branches. Being a child of military personnel does not count.
Invitations
Special attention must be paid to wording your military wedding invitations. Whether the bride, groom, or parent(s) are active or retired, there is specific etiquette that must be respected.
Where Is A Military Wedding Held?
Military weddings are usually held at base chapels and synagogues. However, you may hold your military ceremony at a host of other locations, on or off-base.
Who Can Officiate?
A military wedding can be performed by the officiant of your choice. If the service is officiated by a military chaplain or rabbi, there is no fee associated with his or her services.
Traditions Of Attire And Accessories
If the groom is a member of the military, he must wear his appropriate military dress uniform. Depending on his branch of service and whether or not he's a commissioned officer, the groom may decide to wear a saber or cutlass. If he does, the bride stands to his right at the altar (instead of to his left, as traditionally done in non-military weddings) in order to avoid the blade.
If the bride is in the service, she has her choice of wearing either her military dress uniform or a traditional wedding gown. Either way, she may hold a bridal bouquet. Other traditions include:
- Marine grooms who are commissioned officers should wear white gloves and carry sabers.
- Navy grooms who are commissioned officers should carry cutlasses.
- If some wedding party members are in the military and others are not, service members may be asked to wear civilian clothes.
- All saber or cutlass bearers should wear white gloves.
Seating
Special considerations must be made when arranging the seating at a military wedding. All high-ranking officials (Lieutenant Colonel and above) must be seated in positions of honor at both the ceremony and reception. Additionally, a special place should be reserved for the commanding officer of the bride and/or groom. If the couple's parents are not present, it is customary to seat their commanding officer(s) and spouses in the front pew. Following, military guests should also be seated according to rank. Traditionally, officers are seated directly behind the bride and groom's families at the ceremony.
Arches Of Sabers Or Cutlasses
The arch of sabers is what really sets a military wedding apart from a civilian service. The arch is a symbolic act that ensures the newlywed couple safe passage into their new life together, but it should only be performed for commissioned officers.
As soon as the ceremony is over, the ushers line up on either side of the aisle to the chapel steps. Often, the other wedding guests will leave the church so they can watch the ritual. At the head usher's command -- "Draw sabers (cutlasses)" -- the ushers raise their blades, edge up, into the air, carefully forming an archway. If there are civilian ushers in the wedding party, they also line up, and stand respectfully at attention while the arch is formed. The newlyweds pass under the archway, and at the command -- "Return sabers (cutlasses)" -- the ushers return their weapons to their sides. They then turn and escort the bridesmaids down the aisle.
If weather permits, the arch may be formed outside the entrance to the ceremony site. Though specific commands and protocol may differ based on the military branch of the commissioned officer, the arch is a military wedding tradition highlight.
The Receiving Line
In the receiving line, protocol demands the uniformed groom to precede his bride. Often, national colors and distinguishing flags are displayed, directly behind the center of the receiving line.
Cutting The Cake
One of the light-hearted moments of any wedding is the cake cutting ceremony. For commissioned officers, the military puts a unique spin on this tradition. On command, the saber or cutlass bearers enter the reception room in formation in front of the wedding cake, facing each other. The bride and groom pass beneath the sword/saber arch again, and approach the cake. The groom hands his new bride his unsheathed sword saber, and with his hands over hers, they cut the first piece of cake together.
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