 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My fiancé's parents have always adored me, but now that we are engaged, they have told him that they think we're not right for each other. Both of us have spent long nights in prayer over this dilemma, and we ultimately came to feel that we are right for each other.
Adding to my discomfort is the fact that his is a very family-oriented clan: They all live within one mile of each other, and Sunday is considered family day, with everyone attending church together. I have been going with them to services since early in my relationship with my fiancé, but now I feel terribly uncomfortable attending with them, since I know how they feel. I want to be the mature one in this situation, and I feel we must talk with them about their feelings. How can I possibly convince them that their son and I are right for each other? |  |  | You are absolutely right that you should sit down and talk with your future in-laws, but your mission is not to convince them that you and your fiancé are right for each other: That has already been decided by the only two people who could know that. Be yourself, and let your fiancé's parents know why you both feel right for each other. Do not be defensive: simply offer them the opportunity to hear why you love their son and why you want a wonderful future with him -- and them. If you are willing and comfortable, let them share their own concerns, which you can both address. As to your concerns about family activities, all couples need time alone to develop their own connections and ways of dealing with each other. Marrying is the beginning of a new family, between you and your fiancé, and while time with family is important, the time with your intended is more important. | | 
Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |