 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | I am Jewish and my boyfriend is Christian. I have been in the same congregation since I was born, and I have a close relationship with my rabbi. I am very upset because my rabbi told me that he refuses to officiate or co-officiate at an interfaith wedding. I want my religion to be represented, but by someone who knows me. Now I have no idea how to make my ceremony complete. |  |  | This is very hurtful. I have no doubt that you imagined your ceremony with your spiritual advisor present to officiate. As difficult as this may sound, try to respect your rabbi's position, which is obviously based on spiritual philosophies that are important to him. If you can't have your lifelong rabbi present, try to find another who is comfortable co-officiating.
Once you find such a rabbi, have him or her meet with the other spiritual advisor so that family traditions and religious preferences and differences can be dealt with. This is not a time to offend, nor is it a time to defer. You don't want to lose the feeling of a Jewish wedding any more than your fiancé wants to lose a Christian one. You CAN have both, but the key is flexibility among all of you. You may not have the exact ceremony that you dreamed of and which you planned for, but you will certainly have all of the elements you want and deserve.
| | 
Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |
See More: Ceremony Ideas , Planning , Traditions