 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My mother is upset with me because I have invited her second cousin, my aunt, to the wedding. Unfortunately, I have already sent the invitation and my aunt has eagerly accepted. My mother was the one who initiated our family's relationship with her in the beginning, but she now complains that her cousin was always jealous and wants a free meal. My fiancé and I are paying for the entire cost of the wedding, and I realize I can invite whomever I choose. However, I want my mother to feel comfortable. I don't know what to do: Should I not say anything to my aunt and let her come, or should I explain the situation to her? I don't want to defy my mother, but she is constantly nagging me about this and now we're not talking. I want to resolve this issue. |  |  | Unresolved family tiffs can certainly add to the stress and undermine the joy of a bride and groom while planning their wedding. In this touchy situation, you can honor both your mother and yourself. Remind your mother that the family connection was something that she initially promoted, and that she knew your aunt would be invited, and it is too late to rescind the invitation. Talk with your mother about your desire to honor her wishes, as well as explaining to her that you understand her level of discomfort and that you hope she will be able to allow your aunt to enjoy herself at the wedding, and be polite and gracious. | |  Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |
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