 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My wedding is only a couple of months away, and I am marrying a great woman. We've talked about all the important issues, and we agree on pretty much everything. There is one thing, however, that we haven't resolved, and that's the very close relationship that she maintains with a former fiancé. I know that I trust this woman, but why does this friendship have to be such an important part of her life? Should I be concerned? |  |  | I feel from your question that you have shown admirable restraint and sensitivity in this matter. However, I'm curious to know if your fiancée has asked you to meet this man. Many times, having the opportunity to meet the person and develop an understanding of their past relationship can help you to see why his presence in her life (which now means your life) is so important. However, if you feel threatened by his presence in her life, or if you have feelings of jealousy, talk to her calmly and openly about your feelings. Ask her what aspects of the past relationship are important to her and of value. The qualities she mentions are not necessarily things she feels you are lacking, but simply facets she craves in her life. Keep in mind that you are the man with whom your fiancée has chosen to spend her life, and she clearly sees you as a strong, secure person or she would never have been so open about her admiration for this man of her past. | |
 Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |
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