 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My mother and father are determined to give me and my fiancé a large, "over-the-top" wedding, despite the fact that we want a small, intimate one. There is no winning this battle with my parents, since they feel as if it were "their" wedding, and I don't want to go through all the planning full of resentment. Any thoughts? |  |  | This is a tough ticket to ride! First and foremost, brides and grooms are much happier, and things go much more smoothly, when they prepare and experience the wedding of "their" dreams. The wedding day is, after all, YOUR day. But of course you know that; it would appear, however, that this is not so clear to your parents.
By the tone of your question, it would appear to be a done deal, so I will spare you my suggestions about attempting to change your parents' minds. Instead, decide with your fiancé which aspects of the wedding MUST be designed and implemented to your specifications, such as the vows or the music. Then stick firmly to those items that will create the intimate wedding you desire and deserve. Other, less important items (to YOU, that is), can be handed over to your parents, a parent of your fiancé, or a good friend. This will take the physical and emotional burden off of you and will allow your parents to still feel involved and connected to the wedding THEY want. Everybody wins. | |
 Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |
See More: Budgeting , Ceremony Ideas , Guests , Planning , Receptions