 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My fiancé and I are planning a wedding that will be just for us. We are having our ceremony at a resort. After our honeymoon, we'll have a large reception for family and friends. My mother is furious with my plans, because she thinks I'm taking my wedding day away from her. As a result she won't help with any of the planning, and we can't talk at all without fighting. While my mother won't help me plan the wedding, my honeymoon or the reception, she will help financially. But there is still a problem: We had hoped to have the reception at the restaurant she owns, which would have been a real money-saver. However, she refuses since I am not getting married HER way. How do I salvage my relationship with my mother and still be happy on my wedding day? |  |  | You cannot have it both ways -- the wedding YOU want and family financial support for a wedding THEY don't want. It is your mother's prerogative to want to see her daughter get married, and you and your fiancé have chosen to have a ceremony that prevents that. That, too, is your prerogative, but there are consequences. I assume you've told your mother why you chose the ceremony you have, and that you've expressed how much you need her help. She doesn't have to approve, but she should be aware of how you feel. Your mother has been generous in supporting your wedding, but I think you should find another venue for your reception that is affordable and acceptable to you. Then ask your mother to be an honored guest. | |  Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |
See More: Ceremony Ideas , Destination Weddings , Planning , Receptions