How Do You Write Your Own Vows?

Many couples choose to compose their own vows. You might be surprised how effectively you can write. It's the "getting it down on paper" that's difficult for most.

Just Say It

Don't sit down to write. Instead, get a tape recorder. Say what you really want to say. Don't worry about the words. Take your time and talk more than you need to, if that will help. Then replay the tape. Find the phrases or sentences that really work and communicate your true intent. If something on the tape makes you laugh, cry, or smile, it’s a winner.

Be Simple

Good writing doesn't require big words or long sentences. It should aim to successfully communicate particular thoughts, sentiments, or ideas.

Be Specific

Stay away from broad generalities ("I will love you forever") and focus on small, specific expressions of love. If you write about one specific event ("I promise to always dry if you wash, and wash if you dry") you write, by extension, about all events.

Avoid Cliches

Everyone will surely understand "My love for you is deeper than the ocean," but they've heard it a million times before. It's unoriginal and uninspired. And your vows should reflect the profound inspiration of your love for one another. If it's a phrase you've heard before or if it sounds like a line from a song, get rid of it. Find a new and original way to illustrate your point.

Find a Friend Who Can Write to Give It a Read

You may not know any "professional writers," but you probably know people who write as a part of their work. You may also know people who do a great deal of reading and thus have a good critical eye. Consider calling upon a friend who's a teacher or a librarian; they may be able to give you some constructive advice on how to improve your writing.