Are You Expected to Tip all of Your Vendors?

Wedding professionals, from bridal consultants to photographers, generally are not tipped. However, a thank-you note to a vendor is certainly a thoughtful gesture, especially for one who has done an excellent job.

Gratuities for a job well done are typically given to the actual service providers. These gratuities are often included in the contracts for services and goods provided. For example, a caterer's gratuities could be imbedded in the total costs. Limousine service companies usually have a 15 to 20 percent gratuity for the drivers built into in their bills. And many hotels include a service charge for their waitstaff and bartenders. Always ask whether gratuities are included before signing any contract. If they're not, plan on tipping 15 to 20 percent of the total food and beverage bill and for other services.

Also count on a gratuity budget for valet parking, coat check, and powder room attendants. Tip these attendants ahead of time so that your guests have no obligation to do so. Ask a friend to make sure that there are no tip dishes or baskets sitting on the coat check counter that would make guests feel obligated to tip. A general guideline: Tip attendants a flat fee of $1 per guest.

You should also count on tipping florist and bakery delivery-truck drivers $5 to $10 each, for expeditious deliveries. Of course, do check first to see if gratuities for their services have already been included in the contracts.

The majority of tips should be given on the day of the wedding. You might want to set aside extra money as an unexpected tip fund, just in case you choose to thank some people for especially outstanding service. Ask one of your attendants to be in charge of your tip fund and basic contact information; this way, you can delegate the tipping to that person by asking him or her to hand out any extra gratuities for you. When a tip is spontaneous and is given to a vendor who has done an extraordinary job, it can be given -- with thanks -- at the end of the reception. The gratuity may also be sent after your big day, with a note of thanks included.

Peggy Post, our Etiquette Expert and internationally known spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, answers your questions and provides helpful etiquette advice on everything from attire and invitations, to toasting and receptions.

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