Can You Cut a Bridesmaid From Your Bridal Party?

When choosing attendants, it may never occur to you that you might one day regret your decision. However, in certain situations, you may have to ask someone to step down in order to preserve your wedding (and your sanity). Only extreme cases call for showing a bridesmaid the door -- you may not ask a bridesmaid to step down if she doesn’t throw you your idea of the perfect shower; refuses to be at your constant beck and call; gets pregnant; gains weight; isn't particularly helpful; or delicately asks that a more affordable bridesmaid gown be considered due to her financial situation. Behavior that does warrant a pink slip includes attending your prewedding events so inebriated that she disrupts the gatherings; illegal drug use; openly and repeatedly arguing or criticizing your choices; complaining loudly about her responsibilities; repeatedly insulting you or other members of the wedding party; and propositioning the groom (it can happen).

When asking a bridesmaid to step down, try to be as gentle as possible and be honest about your reasons. If she has already paid for her bridesmaid dress, kindly reimburse her -- a few hundred dollars is a bargain for a stress-free wedding day. In any event, keep in mind why bridesmaids exist in the first place. Certainly, they are lovely to look at as they precede the bride down the aisle in their wedding finery, but the real reason we include them is this: on a day as special as your wedding, you want to be surrounded by your closest friends.