Can You Invite People to Wedding Related Events but not the Wedding?

As a general guideline, everyone invited to prewedding festivities should be included in the big event. But there are some exceptions. Invitees to events with gift obligation -- namely bridal showers -- should be invited to the wedding. It's a major snub to invite someone to a shower and not to the wedding. The exception includes a shower thrown by coworkers who know ahead of time that they are not invited to the wedding.

A shower invitation bears with it an obligation to purchase a gift -- whether the invitee attends the shower or not. When couples marry far away from where they live and work, they are often feted by coworkers and sometimes friends who have no expectation of being invited to the wedding.

The same holds true for engagement parties. The majority of engagement parties are limited to relatives and good friends. The people invited to the engagement party are often your top-priority wedding guests.

The rules around bachelor and bachelorette parties are a little looser. These celebrations more often take the form of a night on the town, a luncheon, or an afternoon at the spa -- and carry no obligation to purchase a gift. But, here as well, it's important to let any guests know ahead of time that, while you hope they're able to celebrate with you, you can't invite them to the wedding.

Peggy Post, our Etiquette Expert and internationally known spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, answers your questions and provides helpful etiquette advice on everything from attire and invitations, to toasting and receptions.

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