How Do You Make It Clear That Children Are not Invited?

Invitations are about requesting someone's attendance. They're not about exclusion, so don't write, "No children, please." Invite whom you want, by name, and your intention should be understood. In order to be doubly sure, ask people close to you to spread the word that this is a no-kids event.

If an invitee assumes that you did mean to invite her children and includes their names on the response card, you or the person hosting the event may call and let her know that, regretfully, no children are invited.

Once you've decided not to invite everyone's children, have a clear-cut plan. If you're only inviting your siblings' and first cousins' children, for example, avoid making exceptions with other guests -- no matter how hard a parent pleads. If you bend the rules and include some children who are close family members, you run the risk of offending guests who respected your request and left their children at home.

What if a guest surprises you by bringing her uninvited children, despite your best attempts? Don't send them away. Do your best to graciously accommodate, keeping your wedding a happy occasion.

Peggy Post, our Etiquette Expert and internationally known spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, answers your questions and provides helpful etiquette advice on everything from attire and invitations, to toasting and receptions.