When we were young, many of us imagined we would be like Grace Kelly on our wedding day -- elegant and slender -- as delicate as the lace on our gown. We would also marry handsome, wealthy princes (that was the fairytale, after all). As we grew older and wiser, we came to realize not every woman was meant to model underwear for Victoria's Secret, nor for that matter, are all princes guys we would necessarily want to marry. In a "Vogue" supermodel culture, we scrutinized our bodies and went on fad diets in order to become "thin enough to find love." Some of us lost weight, some of us gained, but surprise of surprises -- we found out size has nothing to do with what's inside. We fell in love. And because every bride wants to look beautiful on her wedding day, whether she wears a size 4 or a 24, the following are some suggestions to help the full-figured bride look her best.
Accentuate the positive. Like the song says, this is the first thing you've got to do. You know what I'm talking about. Whatever you feel is your strongest feature -- striking legs, beautiful cleavage, a gorgeous neck or shapely arms -- choose a wedding ensemble that enhances that attribute. If you have a beautiful neckline, don't hide it in a high-necked gown. If you have pretty shoulders, show them off with a strapless or off-the-shoulder gown. You already know what your best features are, now it's up to you to highlight them.
Eliminate the negative. In addition to playing up the positive, you've got to eliminate the negative, especially any bad self-image feelings. If you haven't already, accept and love yourself for who you are, and stop beating yourself up because you're not thin. If you weren't beautiful, inside and out, you wouldn't be looking for a wedding gown in the first place, right?
The Right Gown. There are so many gown styles out there, how do you find the one that best suits your figure? Most experts agree it is best to go for simple, classic lines, and to avoid heavy beading and large, gaudy accessories. The following are some tips provided by an associate at Mona Lisa by Victoria, a designer who carries a vast selection of large-sized and custom made wedding gowns:
- If you are heavy on the top, try a fitted or an A-line dress. Don't go for a full skirt; it is likely to make you look big all over.
- If you are heavy on the bottom, a full skirt is perfect for you, especially if you have a nice waistline. An A-line dress is also a good bet.
- If you are tall, an A-line gown is usually a lovely choice.
- Never go for heavy gathering at the waist of a gown. This makes every bride look larger than she is. If you are tall, go for a long bodice with box pleats, which are far more flattering.
- Never buy a too-small gown thinking you will lose weight before the wedding. Most brides who do this don't actually lose the weight, and wind up panicking at the last minute and buying another dress. Since this is both stressful and expensive, simply buy the gown that fits you now. If you happen to lose weight before the wedding, great; the gown can easily be altered to fit.
Choosing a Headpiece. It isn't the size of the bride, but the style of the gown that matters most when choosing the right headpiece. If your gown is strapless or fitted, a long veil can be quite becoming. If you are wearing a long-sleeved, elaborately lacy dress, a simple headpiece such as a Juliet cap (remember Grace Kelly?) may be more appropriate. Try on several different veils and headpieces with your gown before making your final decision.
Undergarments. As you know, undergarments are the foundation of your ensemble, so it is important to choose the right pieces. While you won't want to squeeze into a rib-threatening corset the way Scarlet did before the ball (ouch), you should try to smooth out any little bulges with slimming lingerie. Most department stores carry one-piece control garments with either short or long legs and bustiers. Experts recommend one-piece garments because they don't break the line (important if your gown is fitted). If you have voluptuous breasts, by all means, play them up. But remember, too much of anything is never a good thing, so don't overdo it by creating mega-cleavage with a Wonder Bra. You're the bride, not a dancer at the Moulin Rouge.
At the very least, invest in a pair of good quality control top stockings (some go all the way up to the bust). Comfort comes first, though. Here's the bottom-line rule for all clothes: Do not wear anything too tight. You will be miserable, and it will only make you look bigger.
Hair and Makeup. If you're upset that you didn't lose those extra pounds before your wedding, here's a news flash: Your friends and family won't be staring at your love handles during your celebration -- they'll be looking at your face. Why not focus on the area that will get the most attention? Indulge in a facial a week or so before your wedding (not the day before), and if possible, have your hair and makeup done professionally. If this isn't possible, buy yourself a new lipstick or eye shadow that will help you shine on your special day.
By now, you should be able to create the wedding look that makes you feel every bit as beautiful as Grace Kelly. In the end, it's not the size of your dress that matters anyway -- it's the size of your heart.