Second Wedding Guide: Fashion

If you are a second time (or beyond) bride you may be wondering: May I wear white? What about a veil? 
Frankly, any bride may wear white. It’s your special day -- who would dare to stop you? The white color of most Western wedding gowns is mistakenly thought to represent virginity; it in fact is merely a color of celebration (ancient Greeks wore white for their most important festivals). After Queen Victoria wore white for her royal wedding to Prince Albert in the 19th Century, it became a mainstay of Western bridal fashion.
Still, the second time bride might think twice about selecting the sort of “big, white gown” most commonly worn by first time brides, for fashion reasons as much as etiquette reasons (or perceived etiquette reasons). If you've worn a white wedding dress before, it just seems trite to wear one again. And truth be told, white is not particularly flattering on most women. Also, there's no getting around the widely held misconception about which brides can wear white. You may unknowingly be raising the eyebrows of some guests if you choose to walk down the aisle in a white gown. You shouldn’t let their ignorance limit your choice, but it is something to keep in mind as you create your wedding day look.
If you've been married before, consider going for a more sophisticated, less elaborate look for your return to the altar. Especially lovely (and more popular than ever this year) are dresses in spectacular, elegant metallics. As pretty as a white wedding gown is, it can’t compare with a magical gown in diaphanous gold, rich copper or sparkling silver.
If you’ve been married before but didn’t get to do the big, white dress the first time around, you might feel particularly compelled to wear a white gown. If that’s what you really want, go for it… but be practical. The average women over 30 all dressed up in a big white ballgown with layers and layers of tulle risks looking like she’s dressing for Halloween. Select a gown with an appropriate amount of sophistication. Or you might opt instead for a glamorous skirted suit in ivory, ecru or pearl.
The bridal veil, however, is traditionally a symbol of virginity and second time brides are discouraged from wearing a veil. At the very least, avoid wearing a blusher veil (the short piece of veil that "masks" the bride through the first part of the ceremony and then is raised by the groom when he kisses her). Instead of lamenting a “no veil” look, seize this opportunity to play princess and find a glorious tiara to crown your wedding day ensemble. Or go for a super-glamorous hairstyle scattered with jeweled pins.
For men, the situation is much simpler. A second time groom can feel free to wear anything he might have worn the first time around. As always, his attire should compliment the bride’s in terms of formality.
Attendants in second weddings can be attired however the bride and groom wish. Again, a consistent degree of formality between all members of the wedding party (the bride, groom, and attendants) should be the goal.
In many second time weddings, the bride and/or the groom may be bringing children from a previous relationship into the new union. Many second time brides and grooms are attended by their children. If you plan to include your children in your ceremony, you can coordinate their attire with yours in special ways. Consider attiring the girls in dresses with wide sashes at the waist in the same color as the bride’s ensemble. Dress the groom in a suit with an elegant silk tie, and dress the young men in miniature versions of his outfit.