Sanity Savers: An All-Adult Affair
 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My daughter is having an evening reception, and my sister-in-law is hinting that her children (aged four and eight) should be in the wedding. The eight-year-old boy looks a little too old to be a ring-bearer and the four-year-old girl would probably freak out when it came time to walk down an aisle with a bunch of strangers watching her. My daughter does not want to have them in the wedding (they can be jittery and demanding), or at the reception. Is there a delicate way to handle this situation? |  |  | There is a delicate way to handle this, but I am not sure the news will be received delicately. Anyone who suggests that their children be in someone else's wedding usually has their own agenda. That said, however, it is your daughter's wedding, and she can choose whether or not to have children in attendance. Suggest that she call your sister-in-law and thank her for the offer to have the children in the wedding, but say that it is going to be an all-adult affair. Your daughter does not have to defend her position or get into a conversation about the philosophical merits or detriments of having children at a wedding. | |  Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |