Sanity Savers: Parental Image vs. The Real Deal
 Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.
 | My parents have been divorced for 16 years. My mother is still single, but my father has a serious girlfriend. I'm not sure what etiquette says I should do in this situation, but my mother thinks that she and my father should be introduced together and sit at the head of the table together –– in other words, to assume the entire honor of being parents of the bride.
I understand my mother's desire, but I don't want my father's girlfriend to be excluded and uncomfortable. Also, since the divorce, my parents have hardly spoken, so the assumption of them being "parents" is jarring. What should I do? |  |  | It is common today for brides and grooms to sit together, alone, at a specially decorated table just for them. You can consider that, or you can decide that your mother and father sit at separate tables among their family and friends. If, however, they both agree to behave, they can sit together.
Should you decide to seat your father's girlfriend away from your parents, by all means discuss this with her beforehand, and make sure (regardless of the seating) that you make a point of introducing her to people, so that she won't feel stigmatized. You might also want to instruct some of your guests or members of your wedding party to "look after her" to make sure she feels included and comfortable. | |  Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City. | |