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Sanity Savers: Reception on the Rocks

Dr. Dale Atkins understands your wedding woes and has the perfect sanity-saving solutions for emotional issues, family questions, and fears about the engagement, wedding planning, and future.

	My fiancé and I have reached a difficult part in our wedding-planning process -- the decision as to whether or not to have a partially open or a fully open bar. We are expecting 250 guests, and the bar at the hotel we’ve chosen for our ceremony is very pricey, even for beer and wine. Likewise, we have several friends and family with a history of abusing open bar privileges. Allowing these individuals to get wasted after a religious ceremony gives no glory to God. On the other hand, we do not want to punish those who wouldn’t be abusive. We had discussed the possibility of drink tickets for everyone, allowing three or four drinks per person. However, I keep reading that anything less than an open bar is unacceptable. Are drink tickets all right?

	I am sure there is an answer in the annals of etiquette for your question, but I shall respond to the underlying thought. You present an important dilemma: that of wanting your guests to maintain some level of decorum with regard to alcohol consumption. Drink tickets may be offensive to those who are used to abusing bar privileges, but as this is your wedding and your are the one paying for it, you can decide to have any sort of restriction you deem necessary or comfortable. Of course some people will not like your choice, but, as with everything that surrounds a wedding and marriage, it is YOUR choice. The people who will be attending are there to celebrate in the way YOU envision.
	Dr. Dale Atkins is a professional psychologist and frequent media expert specializing in couple and family relationships. Dr. Dale is also an author with five books to her credit: Sisters; Families and Their Hearing Impaired Children; From the Heart (co-author); I'm OK, You're My Parents; and the most recently published, Wedding Sanity Savers (co-author). Currently living in Connecticut with her husband and dog, Dr. Dale has two grown sons and a private practice in New York City.